A Letter to the Exhausted Mom
I see you. I see over there in the corner of the isle sighing in utter exasperation as your toddler is trying to fill your shopping cart with candy as you walk down the isle. I see you also wearing your newborn in your wrap and bouncing up and down as to the shush the "fussies" that have started.
I feel that exasperated sigh. I know that sigh all too well.
It's the sigh of exhaustion. Maybe even the sigh of defeat or surrender.
Unlike your toddler, your older child doesn't seem to care about filling the cart with candy and sweet treats. Their eyes are glued on their phone and they narrowly avoided running into an elderly gentleman walking through the isle.
In that moment, we lock eyes as to say, "I get it, I've been there." or even, "I am there".
There is comfort in knowing that we aren't the only ones that struggle and sweet momma you are not alone in your motherhood busyness. Each season of motherhood brings on it's own challenges and busyness. Each season looks different and feels different but it hard just the same. We want to desparately to be the perfect mom so we try to do everything the right way.
But what is the right way?
We can get so wrapped up in trying to do all the things that we can easily miss the one thing that makes our restless mothering mind slow down just enough for us to take a breath.
Inhale. then exhale.
When is the last time you even slowed down to notice your breath?
Now as you close your eyes and count to ten to persuade your toddler to come back from across the isle, they've made it quite clear they aren't planning on going anywhere, and have camped out on the bottom shelf holding a bag of marshmallows hostage. I see that begrudging look on your face as you get to the magic number "ten" and nothing happens.
Your toddler stands their ground.
You have no choice really but to go and grab them and bring them to you. They aren't happy and want you and everyone else in the store to know it as they protest you grabbing them.
Their tantrum seems to incite your newborn to increase their fussiness as well. As you hurry down the isle, in between the "shushing" I hear these words. These words that many moms think, but might not say.
This is too much. I can't handle this.
Your exhaustion and desperation drenching every word.
You are busy, momma, and you are overwhelmed, but that's ok.
You are not a bad mom because you are busy and you are not a bad mom because you feel overwhelmed. Actually you are a normal mom, with normal emotions, thoughts and reactions.
Close your eyes and imagine with me what it would be like to feel busy, but not overwhelmed, joyful and not anxious and "full, but not stuffed."
Is that possible you wonder? What would that even look like?
How can I get my busy to be less busy and my overwhelm under control?
When does it easier? Or when do I get the hang of this mothering thing?
If we're really honest though, our true motherhood fears go even a little deeper and darker. We are afraid we are failing our kids and messing them up.
Sweet exhausted momma, the only way to release yourself from the chains of anxiety, busyness and exhaustion is to take all that you are and throw it at the foot of the cross.
Your thoughts. Your fears. Your failures. Your should-haves. Your worries. Your doubts.
Lay it all down. Let it all go.
You can't do it. But God can. You don't have the strength or patience to carry on, but God does. Whoever said, "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" was sadly mistaken.
God gives us more than we can handle because it drives us to Him. Our dependence on God is what sustains us.
Isaiah 46:4 says "I have made you and I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Momma friend, you most definitely need that coffee that is in your cart, but you also desperately need Jesus. We all do.
Signed,
A fellow momma in the trenches of motherhood. Figuring this all out one step at a time and one prayer at a time.
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